:.:.:.:~ ♥ AlwaysWithYou ♥ ~:.:.:.:

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

only had like 3 hours of sleep since saturday, should be feeling very tired now.. but just cant get to sleep.
nothing much happened today or this weekend, but i think we are starting to drift apart again, itz again him in his world and i'm just left alone in the cold. i dont know why am i always feeling like that, he always says that i am being TOO SENSITIVE!!! but i dont think i am.
i'm always having this feelings. itz like so near yet so far, i dont know what is he thinking nor do i know what is he like. all of a sudden he's become a total stranger to me, some one whom i see everyday but i dont know him at all. itz really hard staying alone, i miss my mama's screaming and banging of doors. i miss the noise that they make when ever they watch a show. i'm starting to hate my life once again, why do i have to go thru all this ? i really dont understand at all.. not even a single bit.
I'm missing baby T now, he's made me laugh and cry. but overall he's still very innocent, and if he's happy he is happy, he does not wear any mask ard. haiz.. i am so tired all of a sudden.. i'm tired of guessing and thinking what is in ur mind!
i think i just need a job to take my mind off this probs now. i need money and i need a life!

BK : you may think that i am jus being SENSITIVE but i'm not my feelings nv fail me once. and you siad that you have close the ACCT but i still see you having alerts from that web! why do u have to lie to me? do u know why we became like this in the first place? haiz.. i'm tired of thinking what u wan and wat u gonna do. i think i shall jus ignore everything i see and hear!

♥ Missing Baby T @ 4:44 AM

Sunday, June 14, 2009

It's like 4.39am now, baby T is sleeping and fatty is also sleeping. i wanna talk but i dont know who to talk to lah.. haiz, am so tired of this.. i am so tired of my lousy and screwed up life. got no money and no anything! haiz. i am going mad! i am really very very desprate for a job! i really need one! but its really hard to get a job now! i really dont know where to start from anymore.. haiz. going mad!! really mad!!

♥ Missing Baby T @ 4:38 AM

Thursday, June 11, 2009

haiz, been to a few interviews lately, didnt hear from any lor. sad.. haiz, i think this cris is really bad.. i am broke till no one can imagin lor! this is the first time in my entire life i've been so broke lor! haiz.. sad sad sad.. can anyone give me a job!!! haiz, sad.. i hate this life!!! kill me anyone!

♥ Missing Baby T @ 8:46 PM

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Haiz, as i thot everything was going smoothly..
that stupid idiot went to tel BK about some things that i had hide from him. i didnt wan to say cos i didnt wan all this to happen! but itz all happening now! haiz, i am feeling suckie now. BK says he's okie, but i guess no one will be okie after hearing wat has happen lor. even i myself cannot be okie lor! haiz, am feeling like shit, BK is feeling 100 times worst then me. so i shall not complain. *zip*
today is saturday and baby T is not with me, he's out with his yeye. and i am hm playing games on FB. boring! can never break anyone's lvl. sad.. i am starting to understand why my mama say if u dont know jus ask dont have to feel ashame. i asked BK's boss on hw to play and he told me and kinda gave me some tips and i am doing better! yeah!!! wahaha

dont know when i can leave the shadow of my pass, last night BK told me abt some one i know for awhile and is quite in good terms with me say i'm a PLK can, it really hurts deep in.. but comparing the hurt that i've given to BK is like penuts.

i shall really sit down and think wat i really wan in life le.

BK: am really sorry, but i will really prove to u de! thank you for all ur kindness and your wei da de ai. when u tell me tat you told him that you will pick up all my rubbish for me. i really feel like shit cos i'm the one always giving you heartach!

♥ Missing Baby T @ 5:19 PM

Friday, June 5, 2009

Am starting to lose my sleep again, i've seen everything that i dont wan to see, but i've seen it and i dont feel good that's why i am losing my sleep! why do u have to do this to me!? didnt we have a agreement? why do you have to make me feel that all this effort that i i've put in has all gone down the drain! if you didnt mean to start all over again, why make me go thru this?
u wanna see how bad you can make me feel? you wanna give me back all those heartache that i've given you? is this what you had planed? if itz so, then you've got it. dont come and tell me shit stuff, am tired.. i'm really tired of trying to make it up to you. even if i can do a thousand times better then anyone, you wont even think itz good enough! i dont know what the hell are you trying to do but itz gonna break every single thing apart. trust me! itz gonna end real soon.. we are jus a few steps away... haiz..

haiz.. feeling so tired.. i wanna rest.. but....... haiz... forget it.. i wan a shouder that i can lean on... i jus need a big hug.. i guess itz only baby T and i soon...

♥ Missing Baby T @ 6:30 AM

I've deleted all the past post from this web, cos itz a brand new start for my marriage and my family.

nothing happend lately besides being still JOBLESS!! aurgh!
been looking for a job high and low lately but stil no vail. haiz
well, life stil has to go on, but in a poorer way, got to buy less of rubbish to eat and have to save, as i dont even have much. haiz life sucks to the core! i wan a new and richer life wahahah! dont know wat else to say. shall try to get some thing to up load Baby T's bah bah bag sheep. wahaha so cute.. but its only sang half way, as he only knows hw to sing it til that point (3bagsfull) haha. no space no fullstop. haha! grow cuter and more of a handful lately.. but itz part of growing up! love him to bits.
oh well shall stop here as i dont know what am i going to say anymore.. better not type any rubbish, shall not bore anyone. haha!

♥ Missing Baby T @ 2:50 AM